And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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