love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
