DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
