I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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