My room smells like vodka and shame
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
