best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
