something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
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