there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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