when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
