Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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