living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
