After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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