im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
