Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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