it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
