I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize