ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
