is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
