They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
