Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
