Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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