I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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