I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
