no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
