i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
