Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
