Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
