Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
