3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
