I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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