I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
