It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
