Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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