Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize