It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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