i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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