i think i have herpe
just one?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
