apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
