my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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