we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
