Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
