she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
