so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
