I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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