You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize