seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
