I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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