So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize
