Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize