please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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