I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
