I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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