i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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