May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
