it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
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She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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