How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
