Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize