did you get engaged???
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just gift wrapped bread.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Randomize
