hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
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If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
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I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize